Most of us, as women, have heard this question more than once in just about every relationship we have had and have politely patted our silly significant other on the head kissed his nose and brushed it off. What I want to know is have any of you out there ever really seriously sat down and talked about it?? Have you ever sat down with your boy and talked about the possibilities of entering a third into your sex life? ( I warned you guys in the first entry of this blog that the topics would get racy.) I have and even though I haven't gone through with it, (nor do I think I ever will.) there are A LOT of things to take into account and to really consider.
OK, so I know that most, if not all, of the time its usually our boys that come up with the idea of a threesome. Most of the time they are joking around and only mention it so get a rise out of us because they know that its a kind of taboo subject. Then there are those select few that are totally serious. They have fantasized about it enough to know that its something that they want to try and they will keep dropping hints towards it. It's also something that can be easily pushed to the back burner and discussed at a later date if you both choose to do so. I have realized that its usually guys that do the threesome fantasizing and its usually the girls that push it to the back burner. If you do decide to have a serious discussion about a threesome whether you are actually going to have one or not, make sure that you are truthful about what you want and how you want it to happen. I don't think there is anything worse than setting expectations under false pretenses and then realizing it wasn't what you wanted. The situation is going to be weird enough as it is try to make it as comfortable as possible by expressing what you really want and not what you think he wants. ( Even if all you ever do is just talk about it.)
The first thing that you definitely going to want to be clear about is who the third will be. The first thing he's gonna do is probably pick the hottest friend you have and drop her name. This will of course get a reaction out of you that will cause him physical harm in some way. (punch in the shoulder, smack in the back of the head....) But then consider it......depending on the relationship between you and the aforementioned individual they may be a candidate. It all really depends on if you want that person to be someone that you know and trust or a complete and total stranger. It also depends on if you plan on the three of you getting together again in the future. My personal opinion, if its going to happen more than once a friend may be a good choice but just keep in mind that this person is your friend and you will be hanging out with them after said event. If its just a one time affair then maybe someone you don't know as well but they are an acquaintance. Don't ever go for a complete stranger because God only know what repercussions may follow that idea. (Seriously you could end up with a complete and total psycho and be ax murdered)
The second thing you are going to want to do after you have decided to bring this fantasy to life is set some ground rules between the three of you. Be very open and honest because as I have already stated there is nothing worse than setting expectations and have them not hold up to what you wanted. If you are married and you are bringing a third into the mix, this is very important. A miscommunication can ruin marriages and friendships. Make sure you express what you want to happen and how you want it to happen so that the only unexpected is that you like it more than you thought you would. (It can happen!!!) Depending on the person the couple decides to "three" with, rules should be set if two of the three are already friends. What those rules happen to be, well, that's up to the the three involved. As long as there is an understanding that there are rules set and they should be followed unless all involved talk about any changes that want to be made.
And the last thing is......enjoy yourself. If you have gotten to the point that all the decisions have been made and the three of you have laid down all the rules, try it out. There is nothing wrong with changing your mind and calling the whole thing off but don't immediately stop everything and get into a cat fight with your best friend because she kissed your boyfriend/husband during the event. Try it out, let your inhibitions go, and see what happens. Who knows you might like it and want to try it again or you won't and you never have to do it again. Sex is a very beautiful thing and sometimes sharing it with more than one other person can be an enlightening experience. You may also find out that its not for you and the only other person you want to share your body with is your boyfriend/husband. There is nothing wrong with that and nothing wrong in exploring your sexuality. Whats good for one person may not be good for another.
So with all that said I will say again that these are my personal opinions and its up to you to listen to them or not. Until next time my readers.....
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