This weeks topic will probably sound very familiar to a lot of you ladies. Have you ever had that boyfriend that no matter how you treat him, what you do to him, or what you say to him he just won't go away? You tell him to move out, leave you alone, or that the relationship is just plain over and they keep telling you they love you and that you guys can make it work....sorry buddy, not gonna happen.
When a relationship is over, women usually know before men do. Women usually know before the relationship is actually over. It's a sixth sense that we all have built in us. We can tell when the man in our life is no longer interested in spending time with us, but his friends and/or the bar are the most important things in his life. If you call him out on this, he will deny everything and sometimes will spend the next couple of days proving to you that you are the most important thing to him. He will "break-up" with his friends and spend time with you. After a couple of days though, the teasing and taunting of his "boys" will get to him and he's back to his previous relationship with them instead of you. Fighting between the two of you will become more frequent and a little more hostile causing doors to slam and inanimate objects to suddenly come to life and superman across the room. Gauntlets are thrown and words are said that can't be taken back. The life of the relationship is slowly sucked out and all that is left are two people that are merely coping with the other. There is no love, no respect, no understanding and barely a friendship. Both parties are aware of this, but most of the time its the woman that says something to the man. (I use the term "man" very loosely.) I think the reasoning behind that is they know if they break it off before we do we are going to cry and accuse them of cheating. ( don't deny it you know that's the first thing we do.) If we break it off first, its almost like a get out of jail free card. Usually after the the-relationship-is-over talk one party decides that they are going to move out depending on whose house/apartment it was when the other moved in. Most of the time the boy will move out to some bachelor pad with his buddies skipping down the street with his belongings in a bag over his shoulder. Sometimes the girl will move out, but usually only if she knows one of two things: 1) that if she moves out her ex won't be able to afford the rent even if he does get a roommate. 2) they ended up living with his family in some way and she really has no choice. (it can happen, it happened to me.) On a good note the girl usually ends up with the place that they both shared. ( boys don't want that responsibility.) Sometimes they remain friends afterwards sometimes they don't but in the end everyone is unbelievably happy. Then there is the other type of guy....the one that won't follow the rules of the break-up and just go away.
There are a few men (once again I use the term "man" loosely) that even though they know the relationship is over, the break-up fight has been fought, and the gauntlets are thrown, leaving is not a priority. They always find some excuse to stay, whether it be that they have no place to go, they can't afford to move out on their own or they won't go because they put just as much money into the house/apartment or other possessions that the woman has and they want re numeration of some kind before they go. They will come up with any excuse so that they can stay in the comfy security that was built around them. (this is also why a lot of men still live at home well into their thirties.) They got so used to you cleaning up after them and doing other things for them that they will come up with any excuse that they can not to give that up. You could literally cheat "on" them and they would find some excuse to forgive you so that they can stay. Now by all means, if you guys think you can still make things work, stay together and work things out. But, if the "break-up" fighting has ensued then its best to go your separate ways. When he doesn't there are a few things you can do: 1) pack his stuff and set it (or throw in a giant messy pile) outside of the place you guys share. If it's an apartment, balconies are great for dumping personal items off of. 2) Plan and execute a move to a different place and don't tell him. (just don't answer the phone when he calls wondering where you are or the jig is up). If neither one of these suggestions work, if you got in good with his family sometimes you can talk them into talking to him. Sometimes they will just come grab his stuff and let him know to go to them instead of coming home to you. You also always have the choice of leaving but that once again factors on the living situation and whose name the home is under. Sometimes you can talk some sense into them, but its not likely. Whatever you do though ladies, don't fall for the sweet talk that is headed your way. It will only prolong the inevitable and make things messier than they probably already are.
And so, there you have it. No exactly foolproof, but it might work better than letting him stick around making your life miserable. Now I will put this out to my readers, if you have been in this situation and you have another way to handle it, please leave a comment on this blog and share your knowledge with the rest of woman-kind!!! Until then my faithful readers........
Monday, December 26, 2011
Saturday, December 17, 2011
The Promise Ring Affair
promise ring(n)-1. a ring given prior to an engagement ring. 2. another name for an engagement ring. 3. a piece of jewelry given to a woman by a man as a last ditch attempt to keep her around because he knows that she's unhappy and wants out of the relationship.
That's right my loyal readers, we are delving into the meaning behind that small, sparkly known as the promise ring. I want to warn you that I will probably offend some of you with my opinions so I'm going to say to you now, read at your own risk. ( honestly the only reason you're going to be offended is because what I'm going to be talking about is the exact situation you're in and you just haven't come to terms with it yet.)
The promise ring.....in most relationships this token of affection is given when the two people (or three if that's your preference) care deeply for one another but may not be ready to take the plunge of an engagement or marriage. The relationship may still be new, they may not be able to afford an engagement ring or they are too young to even consider thinking about marriage. The only thing that the couple does know is that they love each other, they want to make an effort to go the long haul and they want something to symbolize their promise to the other that they are in this forever. They (in a lot of cases just he) then decide to make a surprise visit to a jewelry store where there are several choices to decide upon. Most promise rings range in price from around $100 on up. Some are less some are more. Now if you have to put a spleen on deposit or re-mortgage your house for a promise ring then that wold be considered an ENGAGEMENT ring and then you're just on your way to wedding planners and marriage ceremonies. My personal opinion a promise ring shouldn't cost more than $300 to $400. Spend any more than that and you might as well just take the plunge and get married. All a promise ring should be is a gold, white gold or silver band with a small diamond or two.(or whatever gem stone your significant other prefers. Get creative) It should be what it is, a promise for the forever commitment of marriage. (Let's not forget the opportunity to get a bigger and better ring.) If the couple so chooses they can both have a promise ring but the honor is usually reserved for the girls. I know you boys out there are feeling a little left out but I can almost guarantee if your intentions are true and you buy your girlfriend a promise ring for all the right reasons, you are pretty much guaranteed access to some booty......( We all know that is what's mainly on your mind in the long run, don't deny it.) In the end everyone is happy and no longer in need of some sexual healing. ( thank you Marvin Gay for that term!!)
Now we get to that other reason the promise ring is bought. Its not a pleasant one and I myself have been a victim of the tactic. The boy in the relationship begins to realise that his girlfriend isn't happy with him any longer. The two are arguing all the time, they are spending more time apart than they are together, they both feel like they are headed in different directions and there is constant nit picking. They still have feelings for each other but they can't see themselves being with one another for the rest of their lives. So in a last ditch attempt to try and keep their girl around, the boy will purchase a promise ring and present it to his girlfriend in the most romantic way possible. He does this so that there is minimal chance of failure of the ring being accepted. Along with this presentation he makes promises that he will change his ways and that things between the two of you will get better. The bad part of all of this is, we accept it and delude ourselves into believing these false promises. Things are good for a couple of weeks or even a couple of months but then go right back to where they were and we feel like we have to stick around because we accepted this token of false promises. We are feeling like we are stuck in an unhappy relationship or, if it even went this far, marriage. ( it did for me....) Word to the wise ladies, unless you can see yourself with this man for the rest of your life and you are happy with the way the relationship is going, don't accept the promise ring. Don't make yourself feel trapped when you are truly unhappy with the situation. It's OK to say no. I don't even care if you ended up having a child with this person, if you guys can't get along together then it might be better if you weren't. Your children will be all the better for it. Don't let yourselves get trapped in a loveless marriage because neither one of you had the balls to tell the other that it's over. The big thing about a good relationship is communicating and not holding back. ( haven't I mentioned this like 1000 times?) A lot of are probably saying something along the lines of "promise ring isn't engagement ring, because I accept doesn't mean we have to get married" and to that you are absolutely right. But, why would you accept something that would eventually lead to marriage if you weren't thinking about marrying this person??
So with ALL of that said I will end this with a few more words of wisdom, think before you act. Your actions could come up and bite you in the ass in the long run. (or in my case give me an EX husband....) Seriously consider all of your options if you aren't happy with the course your life has taken. And for all of those of you that are in a good healthy relationship, I wish you nothing but the best and hope for you that your life turns into what ever you dreamed of it to be. Until next week...stay thirsty my friends...(10 points for whomever can tell me where that line comes from.)
That's right my loyal readers, we are delving into the meaning behind that small, sparkly known as the promise ring. I want to warn you that I will probably offend some of you with my opinions so I'm going to say to you now, read at your own risk. ( honestly the only reason you're going to be offended is because what I'm going to be talking about is the exact situation you're in and you just haven't come to terms with it yet.)
The promise ring.....in most relationships this token of affection is given when the two people (or three if that's your preference) care deeply for one another but may not be ready to take the plunge of an engagement or marriage. The relationship may still be new, they may not be able to afford an engagement ring or they are too young to even consider thinking about marriage. The only thing that the couple does know is that they love each other, they want to make an effort to go the long haul and they want something to symbolize their promise to the other that they are in this forever. They (in a lot of cases just he) then decide to make a surprise visit to a jewelry store where there are several choices to decide upon. Most promise rings range in price from around $100 on up. Some are less some are more. Now if you have to put a spleen on deposit or re-mortgage your house for a promise ring then that wold be considered an ENGAGEMENT ring and then you're just on your way to wedding planners and marriage ceremonies. My personal opinion a promise ring shouldn't cost more than $300 to $400. Spend any more than that and you might as well just take the plunge and get married. All a promise ring should be is a gold, white gold or silver band with a small diamond or two.(or whatever gem stone your significant other prefers. Get creative) It should be what it is, a promise for the forever commitment of marriage. (Let's not forget the opportunity to get a bigger and better ring.) If the couple so chooses they can both have a promise ring but the honor is usually reserved for the girls. I know you boys out there are feeling a little left out but I can almost guarantee if your intentions are true and you buy your girlfriend a promise ring for all the right reasons, you are pretty much guaranteed access to some booty......( We all know that is what's mainly on your mind in the long run, don't deny it.) In the end everyone is happy and no longer in need of some sexual healing. ( thank you Marvin Gay for that term!!)
Now we get to that other reason the promise ring is bought. Its not a pleasant one and I myself have been a victim of the tactic. The boy in the relationship begins to realise that his girlfriend isn't happy with him any longer. The two are arguing all the time, they are spending more time apart than they are together, they both feel like they are headed in different directions and there is constant nit picking. They still have feelings for each other but they can't see themselves being with one another for the rest of their lives. So in a last ditch attempt to try and keep their girl around, the boy will purchase a promise ring and present it to his girlfriend in the most romantic way possible. He does this so that there is minimal chance of failure of the ring being accepted. Along with this presentation he makes promises that he will change his ways and that things between the two of you will get better. The bad part of all of this is, we accept it and delude ourselves into believing these false promises. Things are good for a couple of weeks or even a couple of months but then go right back to where they were and we feel like we have to stick around because we accepted this token of false promises. We are feeling like we are stuck in an unhappy relationship or, if it even went this far, marriage. ( it did for me....) Word to the wise ladies, unless you can see yourself with this man for the rest of your life and you are happy with the way the relationship is going, don't accept the promise ring. Don't make yourself feel trapped when you are truly unhappy with the situation. It's OK to say no. I don't even care if you ended up having a child with this person, if you guys can't get along together then it might be better if you weren't. Your children will be all the better for it. Don't let yourselves get trapped in a loveless marriage because neither one of you had the balls to tell the other that it's over. The big thing about a good relationship is communicating and not holding back. ( haven't I mentioned this like 1000 times?) A lot of are probably saying something along the lines of "promise ring isn't engagement ring, because I accept doesn't mean we have to get married" and to that you are absolutely right. But, why would you accept something that would eventually lead to marriage if you weren't thinking about marrying this person??
So with ALL of that said I will end this with a few more words of wisdom, think before you act. Your actions could come up and bite you in the ass in the long run. (or in my case give me an EX husband....) Seriously consider all of your options if you aren't happy with the course your life has taken. And for all of those of you that are in a good healthy relationship, I wish you nothing but the best and hope for you that your life turns into what ever you dreamed of it to be. Until next week...stay thirsty my friends...(10 points for whomever can tell me where that line comes from.)
Sunday, December 11, 2011
When Harry Met The Valley
Ok Ladies, I want to ask you, how many times ( if at all ) have you been kicked out of bed and sent to the showers because you hadn't shaved in a week or so? You know what I'm talking about, you're getting ready to get down and dirty with the boyfriend/husband, he touches your leg and feels the prickly hairs instead of smooth skin. He will at this point do one of two things, he will out right ask you if you would go shave before you have sex or he will make you feel guilty about not shaving for a while that you end up just getting up and doing it anyway. This is when he will not so subtly throw in there something about shaving or trimming up the nether regions while you're in there. Now being a victim of this behavior, I know how it feels to be in the moment and then all of a sudden have it implied that unless the hair is gone there will be no lovins. I know alot of you are going to say, "that's never happened to me!! I always keep everything soft and smooth." The only thing I have to say to that is.....bullshit. At some point in time in every womans life we either forget to shave or just plainly don't unless we are going to be showing our legs. I will plainly admit, when winter comes and I know that the only other person seeing my legs is my husband, I might shave once a week. The nether regions I do at the same time. Alot of you right now are probably like "ewwww gross", but think about it whether you shave or wax that specific area, if you do it too often you get some serious irritation. Either the hair isn't long enough to wax or if you shave and the hair is too short...instant razor burn. Very uncomfortable and unless you're in the porn industry, filthy rich, or just happen to have thousands of dollars lying around laser hair removal isn't really an option. Now to get to the real meat and potatoes of this topic.....how many of those men that kick us out of bed actually take care of their own regions south of the border on a regular basis???
Most guys think that women have it so easy and that we can just wake up and automatically feel like the beautiful goddess they tell us we are. Word to the wise boys, you might think we are gorgeous first thing in the morning with no make-up, shower, or coffee but what you think and how we feel are completely different. Men don't realize that the littlest bit of lip gloss can make us feel better than we did with out it. We go through alot to make ourselves feel sexy so that we are confident about our bodies and want to show it off. I think if we have to go through all the trouble of shaving, make-up, keeping our bodies toned and sexy I think men need to take an extra ten minutes a week to trim and groom the forest that surrounds their penis. First of all, it helps us out with any oral pleasure sessions. We don't have to worry about moving anyhting out of the way or (ewww) pick anything out of our teeth. (its gross I know but admit it, it does happen). Secondly it definatly makes the penis look a little bigger. The shaving doesn't stop there though, the boys need to shave their boys too. I know alot of guys are going to be opposed to this idea but if we have to go through it don't you think that they should too??
All the boys have to do is use a trimmer. No wax, no goofy hair removal creams, nothing extravagant of any kind. A trimmer, a razor and some shaving cream is more than sufficient. I'm not saying to make them go completely hairless ( unless we are talking about the balls and then all the hair has to go!!) but just enough to keep it neat and out of the way. They are going to be totally opposed at first to this idea but if you tell them to try it just once for you, they will probably do it. This is one of those times that we can kick up our persausive feminine wiles to make them try something new. I think once they see how much you like it and how much bigger their penis looks they will be more willing to keep it up. Let's face it most if not all men are concerned (okay obsessed) with the size of their man hood and will do anything to make it look bigger. If they will let you offer to trim for them and show them that its not so bad.
I know at first they will be opposed to this idea and they might not even believe you when you tell them that you go through alot to be beautiful for them. I just think that if they expect us to do it don't you think that they should do it for us? So I put this out to everyone that reads this blog......I want to know your opinion. To shave or not to shave? Do you like your man to do some manscaping or do you prefer that they keep everthing the way it is?? Do you have a funny story that you want to tell? Let me know, just post a comment or send me an email on facebook. So until then my readers, I know this one was a little short, hasta la vista until next week.............
Most guys think that women have it so easy and that we can just wake up and automatically feel like the beautiful goddess they tell us we are. Word to the wise boys, you might think we are gorgeous first thing in the morning with no make-up, shower, or coffee but what you think and how we feel are completely different. Men don't realize that the littlest bit of lip gloss can make us feel better than we did with out it. We go through alot to make ourselves feel sexy so that we are confident about our bodies and want to show it off. I think if we have to go through all the trouble of shaving, make-up, keeping our bodies toned and sexy I think men need to take an extra ten minutes a week to trim and groom the forest that surrounds their penis. First of all, it helps us out with any oral pleasure sessions. We don't have to worry about moving anyhting out of the way or (ewww) pick anything out of our teeth. (its gross I know but admit it, it does happen). Secondly it definatly makes the penis look a little bigger. The shaving doesn't stop there though, the boys need to shave their boys too. I know alot of guys are going to be opposed to this idea but if we have to go through it don't you think that they should too??
All the boys have to do is use a trimmer. No wax, no goofy hair removal creams, nothing extravagant of any kind. A trimmer, a razor and some shaving cream is more than sufficient. I'm not saying to make them go completely hairless ( unless we are talking about the balls and then all the hair has to go!!) but just enough to keep it neat and out of the way. They are going to be totally opposed at first to this idea but if you tell them to try it just once for you, they will probably do it. This is one of those times that we can kick up our persausive feminine wiles to make them try something new. I think once they see how much you like it and how much bigger their penis looks they will be more willing to keep it up. Let's face it most if not all men are concerned (okay obsessed) with the size of their man hood and will do anything to make it look bigger. If they will let you offer to trim for them and show them that its not so bad.
I know at first they will be opposed to this idea and they might not even believe you when you tell them that you go through alot to be beautiful for them. I just think that if they expect us to do it don't you think that they should do it for us? So I put this out to everyone that reads this blog......I want to know your opinion. To shave or not to shave? Do you like your man to do some manscaping or do you prefer that they keep everthing the way it is?? Do you have a funny story that you want to tell? Let me know, just post a comment or send me an email on facebook. So until then my readers, I know this one was a little short, hasta la vista until next week.............
Friday, December 2, 2011
Arnold did it...why can't you?
I was at work the other day and I got into a conversation about my decision to have my son be an only child with one of my co-workers. He tried to make the point that every man seems to make when they ask this question, "Being pregnant isn't really that bad, is it?" This is when I realised that most guys think that women have it so easy and they really don't realise the annoyances that we have to deal with on a regular basis. They think that being a woman is so simple because most, not all, but most of us don't do the manual labor jobs and lift heavy, weighty items everyday. They are naive to the hard work it takes to be a woman and the even harder job it is if you are a stay at home mom. They have a great misunderstanding that our lives as women are a breeze......I'm here to hopefully correct that thinking. So ladies, if you have a husband, boyfriend, brother or even just a guy friend that has conveyed any of the above thoughts to you gather 'em up and have them read this and maybe we can straighten them out once and for all!!! YAY!!!!!!
Okay boys, this one is for you to read and learn. This is not going to be like that Family Guy episode where the lady in the video asks all the women to leave the room and then she gets naked. Not gonna happen....but you're probably going to read this anyway because I gaurantee your girl is watching over your shoulder and giving you a dirty look hoping that you might actually learn something. First of all, I have heard alot of men tell their significant other that PMS and having our unfortunate monthly period can't be that bad. They have all said that we whine too much about it and to suck it up and deal with it. To that I have to say, I dare all of you doubting men to try it. Just for a couple of days. I dare all of you to bleed for five days straight, have to deal with mind numbing cramps, raging hormones and having to spend $20 to $30 a month on feminine products. Its not as easy as it sounds. You don't feel like yourself and all you want to do is curl up under a blanket and cuddle up until it's all over. (I promise you guys that I don't think you would last more than a day) The bad thing is that we can't, we still have to go to work, clean the house, take care of the kids and all the other random chores that we take care of everyday. Now I know that you boys are still thinking, "Yeah, that still doesn't sound that horrible." And honestly you guys will truely never know but I can give you a pretty good comparasion. Imagine the worst stomach cramps that you have ever had paired with being in the worst mood you have ever been in. Multiply that by 10 and you might have the slightest clue what we have to go through every month. Now if that doesn't sound bad enough, we also have to put up with you boys telling us that we need to stop whining about our periods and just suck it up and deal with it. Just to let you know, that doesn't help our mood or the situation. I'm not asking you guys to walk on egg shells once a month all I'm asking is if you realise that one week out of the month we are over sensitive and uncomfortable and that week is usually the one that you feel like being a bigger jerk than usual. All we want is a little understanding and maybe a little extra cuddling. (Maybe if you're really nice, sex may not be an option but the oral pleasure for you guys might be...eh...eh..something to think about huh?) So next time your girlfriend or wife is having that special time of the month a little kindness and compassion can go a long way.
Now the other misconception, pregnancy being easy. WRONG!!! I'm not going to lie....being pregnant is a beautiful thing and you don't really realise the miracle unless you have experienced it. Being as I have, I can say, it was amazing. I won't do it again but it is a beautiful experience. Its also not as easy as it looks. Now I know that if you have kept reading this your girlfriend/wife has either made you or you actually found this blog interesting. ( I'm betting on the first reason) You guys really don't understand what our bodies go through to bear your children, so I am going to make it my responsibility to tell you. Pregnancy isn't all teddy bears and bows, our bodies get morphed at a rapid rate leaving us uncomfortable and covered in stretch marks. The first three or four months we are taken over everyday by constant nausea and sometimes vomiting, no energy and feeling just plain yucky. The next three months we start feeling better but this is also when we start showing, the body morphing begins. The last few months we spend with swollen feet, hands, cravings for wierd foods, and we have a human being living in our swollen abdoman that is ever moving and trying to get out. Then comes labor and delivery. I'm not going to get into the nitty, gritty details but I can give you and idea of whats its like. I have heard that the only thing that can be compared to labor pain is a kidney stone. Take that pain constant for any where from 5 to 36 plus hours and then try shoving something the size of a watermelon out of a hole the size of a lemon. There you have it, childbirth the way men can understand. Now to all of you husbands and boyfriends out there with children, I will give you the benefit of the doubt that you have some idea of what its like for us to give birth. I can only assume that you were there for the birth of your child and have seen labor and delivery first hand. (I only know this because it doesn't matter how much we might hate you, we always want you there for this event.) For those of you who haven't had this experience I only ask this, be compassionate towards your girlfriend/wife. All it takes is being nice, helping out a little more, holding her hand and being there for her. Thats really all we want, compassion, love and for you to be there for us with a couple of encouraging words. If you do this for us I promise we will make more of an effort to hold the crazy hormones under control and make the experience of pregancy more enjoyable for the masses. For those choice few men that have read this and still say that we are just whining I want you to strap about 30 or 40 pounds to the front of your body and walk around for a full 24 hours. After you have done that let's see how you feel.....I promise it wont feel good. Now imagine doing this everyday for roughly 10 months. (Yes 10 months....4 weeks in a month, prego for 40 weeks.....you do the math.)
I'm not going say that pregnancy doesn't have its good moments, it does, nothing compares to feeling your baby move for the first time. But after about month 7, its to the point that if the baby moves the wrong way, mom is getting kicked in the ribs. Let's not forget to mention the hourly trips to the bathroom because the baby has decided to settle themselves on moms bladder. Some women are made for pregnancy and love being pregnant. More power to you ladies that can do it more than once, you are a stronger woman than I. The rest are like me who did it once and ended up with a beautiful child that they love more than life itself but have no plans to ever do it again. It wasn't hard on me but it was on my body. I love my son but my world is just perfect with just one.
So there you go ladies, a blog for the men in your life to read so that they may gain a little more insight to the life and times of the beautiful woman in their lives. Let's hope they have learned something.
Okay boys, this one is for you to read and learn. This is not going to be like that Family Guy episode where the lady in the video asks all the women to leave the room and then she gets naked. Not gonna happen....but you're probably going to read this anyway because I gaurantee your girl is watching over your shoulder and giving you a dirty look hoping that you might actually learn something. First of all, I have heard alot of men tell their significant other that PMS and having our unfortunate monthly period can't be that bad. They have all said that we whine too much about it and to suck it up and deal with it. To that I have to say, I dare all of you doubting men to try it. Just for a couple of days. I dare all of you to bleed for five days straight, have to deal with mind numbing cramps, raging hormones and having to spend $20 to $30 a month on feminine products. Its not as easy as it sounds. You don't feel like yourself and all you want to do is curl up under a blanket and cuddle up until it's all over. (I promise you guys that I don't think you would last more than a day) The bad thing is that we can't, we still have to go to work, clean the house, take care of the kids and all the other random chores that we take care of everyday. Now I know that you boys are still thinking, "Yeah, that still doesn't sound that horrible." And honestly you guys will truely never know but I can give you a pretty good comparasion. Imagine the worst stomach cramps that you have ever had paired with being in the worst mood you have ever been in. Multiply that by 10 and you might have the slightest clue what we have to go through every month. Now if that doesn't sound bad enough, we also have to put up with you boys telling us that we need to stop whining about our periods and just suck it up and deal with it. Just to let you know, that doesn't help our mood or the situation. I'm not asking you guys to walk on egg shells once a month all I'm asking is if you realise that one week out of the month we are over sensitive and uncomfortable and that week is usually the one that you feel like being a bigger jerk than usual. All we want is a little understanding and maybe a little extra cuddling. (Maybe if you're really nice, sex may not be an option but the oral pleasure for you guys might be...eh...eh..something to think about huh?) So next time your girlfriend or wife is having that special time of the month a little kindness and compassion can go a long way.
Now the other misconception, pregnancy being easy. WRONG!!! I'm not going to lie....being pregnant is a beautiful thing and you don't really realise the miracle unless you have experienced it. Being as I have, I can say, it was amazing. I won't do it again but it is a beautiful experience. Its also not as easy as it looks. Now I know that if you have kept reading this your girlfriend/wife has either made you or you actually found this blog interesting. ( I'm betting on the first reason) You guys really don't understand what our bodies go through to bear your children, so I am going to make it my responsibility to tell you. Pregnancy isn't all teddy bears and bows, our bodies get morphed at a rapid rate leaving us uncomfortable and covered in stretch marks. The first three or four months we are taken over everyday by constant nausea and sometimes vomiting, no energy and feeling just plain yucky. The next three months we start feeling better but this is also when we start showing, the body morphing begins. The last few months we spend with swollen feet, hands, cravings for wierd foods, and we have a human being living in our swollen abdoman that is ever moving and trying to get out. Then comes labor and delivery. I'm not going to get into the nitty, gritty details but I can give you and idea of whats its like. I have heard that the only thing that can be compared to labor pain is a kidney stone. Take that pain constant for any where from 5 to 36 plus hours and then try shoving something the size of a watermelon out of a hole the size of a lemon. There you have it, childbirth the way men can understand. Now to all of you husbands and boyfriends out there with children, I will give you the benefit of the doubt that you have some idea of what its like for us to give birth. I can only assume that you were there for the birth of your child and have seen labor and delivery first hand. (I only know this because it doesn't matter how much we might hate you, we always want you there for this event.) For those of you who haven't had this experience I only ask this, be compassionate towards your girlfriend/wife. All it takes is being nice, helping out a little more, holding her hand and being there for her. Thats really all we want, compassion, love and for you to be there for us with a couple of encouraging words. If you do this for us I promise we will make more of an effort to hold the crazy hormones under control and make the experience of pregancy more enjoyable for the masses. For those choice few men that have read this and still say that we are just whining I want you to strap about 30 or 40 pounds to the front of your body and walk around for a full 24 hours. After you have done that let's see how you feel.....I promise it wont feel good. Now imagine doing this everyday for roughly 10 months. (Yes 10 months....4 weeks in a month, prego for 40 weeks.....you do the math.)
I'm not going say that pregnancy doesn't have its good moments, it does, nothing compares to feeling your baby move for the first time. But after about month 7, its to the point that if the baby moves the wrong way, mom is getting kicked in the ribs. Let's not forget to mention the hourly trips to the bathroom because the baby has decided to settle themselves on moms bladder. Some women are made for pregnancy and love being pregnant. More power to you ladies that can do it more than once, you are a stronger woman than I. The rest are like me who did it once and ended up with a beautiful child that they love more than life itself but have no plans to ever do it again. It wasn't hard on me but it was on my body. I love my son but my world is just perfect with just one.
So there you go ladies, a blog for the men in your life to read so that they may gain a little more insight to the life and times of the beautiful woman in their lives. Let's hope they have learned something.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
"Babe you're everything to m.....ooohhh look at the kitty."
You can ask just about any guy what they want in a girlfriend/wife and they will all tell you close to the same thing. They want a woman who is beautiful, intelligent, independent, strong family morals....blah, blah, blah....This is what they say, what the say to hook you in and make you fall for them but as soon as you're in a serious relationship the script flips. Now, I'm not saying that there aren't guys out there whom when they say that's what they want then that's what they mean ( I happen to be married to one of those very few), and if you are happy with your marriage/relationship then this doesn't apply. This is for all of those women (or men) out there who were drawn in by the smooth talk and then by a simple twist of fate are stuck in a relationship where their partner treats them like they aren't worth the Charmin Extra Soft they wipe their butt with.(bonus points if anyone can tell me what movie that line is from)
I only feel like I have license to discuss this because I was one of those women. I was young and stupid and I met a man (ok he really wasn't a man mentally but he did have a penis so I have to give him the benefit of the doubt) and I was promptly swept off of my feet by all the sweet talk and the words of "I love you for you." I followed him everywhere and at first I was having fun, but then the rumors started. I would hear left and right that he was cheating on me and I could never bring myself to believe it. I denied everything I heard and married him despite the fact that I had the proof that he cheated on me at least once, the one time he admitted to, and I foolishly thought that things would change after we got married. Six years of relationship, two of which were marriage, ended in divorce a month and a half after our second anniversary. I found out not to long after that he had cheated our entire relationship with a number of different women. I wasn't surprised and I am a stronger woman for the whole experience. The problem with our relationship (or to quote Dane Cook,"relation-shit") I never changed. I never changed the person I was. I was independent and did things on my own with or with out his "permission". That was always one thing he said he hated about me, my "Goddamn Independence". He always said he never felt like I needed him and that's what drove him to be unfaithful. I threw out the bullshit card.
Frist of all, I want to tell all my readers, don't let him/her change who you and what you are. If that other person can't love you for who you are and all the little quriks that go along with that then they aren't worth your time. The same goes for you, if you can't love that other person despite all of their little annoyances the it's not really love and it won't last. We can't love parts of a person, we have to love the person as a whole, for everything that are now and will be in the future. Secondly, alot of relationships have drama, but there's good drama and then there's bad drama. Good drama, your partner hates a specific habit you have like, oh let's say not pushing the chairs back up to the dinner table. (GUILTY!!! I never do it and it drives the hubby nuts!!!) Bad drama, ex-girlfriends/boyfriends or random people telling you they saw your significant other with another person doing things that should not be done. (cheating, stealing,...etc) If you have to deal with ALOT of the bad kind then despite the fact that they tell you nothing happened, it had to come from somewhere. If this happens, then I unfortunatly have to tell you that your best bet is to end it. Its gonna hurt because you love this person ( or at least think you do, once you find THE ONE you will realise that you really didn't)and you thought you could trust them. If you are reading this and you have to question anything about your own relationship then you are currently sitting in the same boat I was years ago. You can't change the other person and they shouldn't try to change you. I've said it before and I will say it again, if they can't love you for you and you can't love them for who they are then its time to call it quits. Its going to suck and its going to hurt but if you learn from it then it will make you a better stronger person. And number three, always learn from your experiences. If you have a rough couple of years with someone and you don't take anything from it, then I consider that a great loss. We can learn alot from destroyed relationships. (I realise that "destroyed" is a strong word but that's how a break-up feels right?) We can take all the mistakes that were made in a previous relationship and try not to make them in the current one. We can better ourselves, not change ourselves but better ourselves. You can take a lesson away from every relationship to make the next one better. I promise you that it works and long as you believe it will. You can come out of a broken relationship a stronger person as long as you realise what truely went wrong and learned something from it. I will admit that it is a very humbling experience but you will be all the better for it in the end.
So I will end this with this; don't ever be afraid to be youself. Bare your soul to the other person and if they can't appreciate it then they aren't worth the time and energy that you are willing to give them. Don't be afraid to fall in love and give it your all. I truely believe that there is one someone out there for everyone and its up to us to do the work and find that person. Someone who will love us for who we are and who we are going to be.
I only feel like I have license to discuss this because I was one of those women. I was young and stupid and I met a man (ok he really wasn't a man mentally but he did have a penis so I have to give him the benefit of the doubt) and I was promptly swept off of my feet by all the sweet talk and the words of "I love you for you." I followed him everywhere and at first I was having fun, but then the rumors started. I would hear left and right that he was cheating on me and I could never bring myself to believe it. I denied everything I heard and married him despite the fact that I had the proof that he cheated on me at least once, the one time he admitted to, and I foolishly thought that things would change after we got married. Six years of relationship, two of which were marriage, ended in divorce a month and a half after our second anniversary. I found out not to long after that he had cheated our entire relationship with a number of different women. I wasn't surprised and I am a stronger woman for the whole experience. The problem with our relationship (or to quote Dane Cook,"relation-shit") I never changed. I never changed the person I was. I was independent and did things on my own with or with out his "permission". That was always one thing he said he hated about me, my "Goddamn Independence". He always said he never felt like I needed him and that's what drove him to be unfaithful. I threw out the bullshit card.
Frist of all, I want to tell all my readers, don't let him/her change who you and what you are. If that other person can't love you for who you are and all the little quriks that go along with that then they aren't worth your time. The same goes for you, if you can't love that other person despite all of their little annoyances the it's not really love and it won't last. We can't love parts of a person, we have to love the person as a whole, for everything that are now and will be in the future. Secondly, alot of relationships have drama, but there's good drama and then there's bad drama. Good drama, your partner hates a specific habit you have like, oh let's say not pushing the chairs back up to the dinner table. (GUILTY!!! I never do it and it drives the hubby nuts!!!) Bad drama, ex-girlfriends/boyfriends or random people telling you they saw your significant other with another person doing things that should not be done. (cheating, stealing,...etc) If you have to deal with ALOT of the bad kind then despite the fact that they tell you nothing happened, it had to come from somewhere. If this happens, then I unfortunatly have to tell you that your best bet is to end it. Its gonna hurt because you love this person ( or at least think you do, once you find THE ONE you will realise that you really didn't)and you thought you could trust them. If you are reading this and you have to question anything about your own relationship then you are currently sitting in the same boat I was years ago. You can't change the other person and they shouldn't try to change you. I've said it before and I will say it again, if they can't love you for you and you can't love them for who they are then its time to call it quits. Its going to suck and its going to hurt but if you learn from it then it will make you a better stronger person. And number three, always learn from your experiences. If you have a rough couple of years with someone and you don't take anything from it, then I consider that a great loss. We can learn alot from destroyed relationships. (I realise that "destroyed" is a strong word but that's how a break-up feels right?) We can take all the mistakes that were made in a previous relationship and try not to make them in the current one. We can better ourselves, not change ourselves but better ourselves. You can take a lesson away from every relationship to make the next one better. I promise you that it works and long as you believe it will. You can come out of a broken relationship a stronger person as long as you realise what truely went wrong and learned something from it. I will admit that it is a very humbling experience but you will be all the better for it in the end.
So I will end this with this; don't ever be afraid to be youself. Bare your soul to the other person and if they can't appreciate it then they aren't worth the time and energy that you are willing to give them. Don't be afraid to fall in love and give it your all. I truely believe that there is one someone out there for everyone and its up to us to do the work and find that person. Someone who will love us for who we are and who we are going to be.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Kimmy K. Should Have Read This First.....
Marriage.....A big word for some and lately just something to do when you get bored. This is what my first subject of this blog is going to be about. I figured I would start out tame and once I get a decent following I would get a little more....well you know...that's when we're gonna get down and dirty.
I have come to not so recently realise that most people think that getting married is going to be all champagne and bubbles( yes I am aiming that comment at a certain Kardashian) or that it's just what you do when you have been in a relationship for a few years. First of all, not to burst the happiness bubble that everyone may or may not be in, but no marriage is perfect. It's hard work and definately not easy, but my opinion is if you are willing to try and make it work, put the effort into it then you, as a couple will be okay. Dont' get discouraged if while you were just dating your significant other, you guys didn't ever fight and now that you are married there's bickering, arguing and some days it feels like World War III. I have found out this is what happens when you love that person but you have all the other stress factors of life weighing on your sholders. Mortgages, kids, bills, in-laws, and work can all put a stress on a marriage but its those that are willing to work through it will make it for the long haul. Some days it is World War III...(believe me, it has been at my house) and other days your relationship would make even the most die hard of Twilight lovers tell you to get a room. Now, I'm going to give you the secret to a good marriage.....(dramatic pause for amazement) oooooohhh ahhhhhh....Communication. Yay!!! No that you all have it, use it. Talking to your partner is the key. Tell them how you feel, don't keep secrets and don't hold anything back. Noew I know that you're thinking "But what if what I say hurts them or what if I don't want to hear wht they have to say?" My answer to that is; Yes some of what you say may hurt and some of what is said to you may hurt but in the long run it makes for a better understanding of the person you decided to spend the rest of your life with.
The second secret, which shouldn't really be a secret at all, is wait to get married. I believe that you should spend at least a year LIVING together before you get married. Not just a year together, but a year living together. (I'm once again going to warn you all that these are my personal opinions and not something that is scientifically proven. Just things that I have found out with my own experiences and others agree with me on.) You don't ever really get to know a person until you lived with them for a while. I don't care if your partner is a neat freak now, once you get married you get to see what happens behind the scenes when you weren't around before. The reason their place is so clean everytime they have you come over is because they have shoved everything in a closet or cupboard. Trust me. Once you marry them you get to really see the disaster that they are used to living in. Clothes all over, dirty dishes....etc...Before you crinkle your nose at the thought remember that they will get to see all of your bad habits too. Yes you have them because you do the same thing that they do when you come over for a visit. (Or booty call, whatever your preference.) Throw it all in a closet and hope the door closes. Living with eachother before you get married (and yes I know it goes against most religious beliefs but thats a rule that needs to be thrown out.) gives you the time to either learn to comprimise with the other persons habits and if you don't want to do that then you can say you gave it the old college try but it just didn't work. It may be a harsh reality to call off a relationship because of habits but if you can't somehow find a way to comprimise and incorporate those habits into your life when you aren't married you sure as hell won't be able to do it when you do get married. Small little annoyances can make or break a marriage. It's all how you, as a couple, handle the situation.
Now, another peice of advice before this already lengthy blog ends......if you are in a good relationship and are happy with the person you are with, don't just run out and get married because you think you have to. Nothing says that marriage is a must. Most will just say that getting married is a piece of paper, it's funny how that piece of paper can change everything. The basic motto "if its ain't broke, don't fix it" is a great one to follow if you're already happy with things they way they are and don't want to change them. In closing, your relationship is what you make of it, I just hope I was able to give a little insight to help make it a little better.
I have come to not so recently realise that most people think that getting married is going to be all champagne and bubbles( yes I am aiming that comment at a certain Kardashian) or that it's just what you do when you have been in a relationship for a few years. First of all, not to burst the happiness bubble that everyone may or may not be in, but no marriage is perfect. It's hard work and definately not easy, but my opinion is if you are willing to try and make it work, put the effort into it then you, as a couple will be okay. Dont' get discouraged if while you were just dating your significant other, you guys didn't ever fight and now that you are married there's bickering, arguing and some days it feels like World War III. I have found out this is what happens when you love that person but you have all the other stress factors of life weighing on your sholders. Mortgages, kids, bills, in-laws, and work can all put a stress on a marriage but its those that are willing to work through it will make it for the long haul. Some days it is World War III...(believe me, it has been at my house) and other days your relationship would make even the most die hard of Twilight lovers tell you to get a room. Now, I'm going to give you the secret to a good marriage.....(dramatic pause for amazement) oooooohhh ahhhhhh....Communication. Yay!!! No that you all have it, use it. Talking to your partner is the key. Tell them how you feel, don't keep secrets and don't hold anything back. Noew I know that you're thinking "But what if what I say hurts them or what if I don't want to hear wht they have to say?" My answer to that is; Yes some of what you say may hurt and some of what is said to you may hurt but in the long run it makes for a better understanding of the person you decided to spend the rest of your life with.
The second secret, which shouldn't really be a secret at all, is wait to get married. I believe that you should spend at least a year LIVING together before you get married. Not just a year together, but a year living together. (I'm once again going to warn you all that these are my personal opinions and not something that is scientifically proven. Just things that I have found out with my own experiences and others agree with me on.) You don't ever really get to know a person until you lived with them for a while. I don't care if your partner is a neat freak now, once you get married you get to see what happens behind the scenes when you weren't around before. The reason their place is so clean everytime they have you come over is because they have shoved everything in a closet or cupboard. Trust me. Once you marry them you get to really see the disaster that they are used to living in. Clothes all over, dirty dishes....etc...Before you crinkle your nose at the thought remember that they will get to see all of your bad habits too. Yes you have them because you do the same thing that they do when you come over for a visit. (Or booty call, whatever your preference.) Throw it all in a closet and hope the door closes. Living with eachother before you get married (and yes I know it goes against most religious beliefs but thats a rule that needs to be thrown out.) gives you the time to either learn to comprimise with the other persons habits and if you don't want to do that then you can say you gave it the old college try but it just didn't work. It may be a harsh reality to call off a relationship because of habits but if you can't somehow find a way to comprimise and incorporate those habits into your life when you aren't married you sure as hell won't be able to do it when you do get married. Small little annoyances can make or break a marriage. It's all how you, as a couple, handle the situation.
Now, another peice of advice before this already lengthy blog ends......if you are in a good relationship and are happy with the person you are with, don't just run out and get married because you think you have to. Nothing says that marriage is a must. Most will just say that getting married is a piece of paper, it's funny how that piece of paper can change everything. The basic motto "if its ain't broke, don't fix it" is a great one to follow if you're already happy with things they way they are and don't want to change them. In closing, your relationship is what you make of it, I just hope I was able to give a little insight to help make it a little better.
Friday, November 11, 2011
The Beginning
So to those of you that know me, I am a huge fan of Sex And The City. I would also like to think of my self as an aspiring writer. (Though how good I am is left up to the reader of the writing.) As I have watched season upon season of the show I have come to wish that our little local newspaper had a witty column about men, women, sex, dating, marriage and children. Then I came to the realization that in my dinky little town in nowheresville Michigan that would probably never happen. ( sex seems to be a big taboo in small towns) So I decided that if my town wasn't ready for it the internet would be because, hell, what can't you find on the internet these days? So the idea of this blog was born.
I have been debating for a while now whether or not to actually see if I could do it and get a following but if I don't try I will never know right? One good reason for the debate that has been plagueing my brain is there may be advice given in this blog if it really takes off and I didn't want to be responsible for someone taking my advice and then if things went badly blaming or (eek!!!) sueing me. So I will lay the disclaimer down now.....I am not a licenced therapist or psychologist. Any advice given is strictly for entertainment purposes and is not to be taken seriously. I am not responsible for any advice taken literally or the outcomes thereof. You, as the reader, can make your own decisions and therefore you are responsible for changes that you bring upon yourself in your own life.
There, now that the legal jargon is laid down I am asking you,(hoping that there is someone reading this) to give me some topics of discussion. Things that you would like to read about, or at least read what I have written about. Once I get some ideas I will try to post a new blog once a week. Keep in mind I am not shy and will talk about anything that you would be interested in hearing about. Get creative. for those faint of heart, God only knows whatthe human mind can think of so be aware that we may be talking about things that make the normal human blush, maybe even cringe, so read at your own risk. Until then Ideas Please!!!! anything you want, no limits!!! Until then my friends..............
I have been debating for a while now whether or not to actually see if I could do it and get a following but if I don't try I will never know right? One good reason for the debate that has been plagueing my brain is there may be advice given in this blog if it really takes off and I didn't want to be responsible for someone taking my advice and then if things went badly blaming or (eek!!!) sueing me. So I will lay the disclaimer down now.....I am not a licenced therapist or psychologist. Any advice given is strictly for entertainment purposes and is not to be taken seriously. I am not responsible for any advice taken literally or the outcomes thereof. You, as the reader, can make your own decisions and therefore you are responsible for changes that you bring upon yourself in your own life.
There, now that the legal jargon is laid down I am asking you,(hoping that there is someone reading this) to give me some topics of discussion. Things that you would like to read about, or at least read what I have written about. Once I get some ideas I will try to post a new blog once a week. Keep in mind I am not shy and will talk about anything that you would be interested in hearing about. Get creative. for those faint of heart, God only knows whatthe human mind can think of so be aware that we may be talking about things that make the normal human blush, maybe even cringe, so read at your own risk. Until then Ideas Please!!!! anything you want, no limits!!! Until then my friends..............
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