This weeks topic will probably sound very familiar to a lot of you ladies. Have you ever had that boyfriend that no matter how you treat him, what you do to him, or what you say to him he just won't go away? You tell him to move out, leave you alone, or that the relationship is just plain over and they keep telling you they love you and that you guys can make it work....sorry buddy, not gonna happen.
When a relationship is over, women usually know before men do. Women usually know before the relationship is actually over. It's a sixth sense that we all have built in us. We can tell when the man in our life is no longer interested in spending time with us, but his friends and/or the bar are the most important things in his life. If you call him out on this, he will deny everything and sometimes will spend the next couple of days proving to you that you are the most important thing to him. He will "break-up" with his friends and spend time with you. After a couple of days though, the teasing and taunting of his "boys" will get to him and he's back to his previous relationship with them instead of you. Fighting between the two of you will become more frequent and a little more hostile causing doors to slam and inanimate objects to suddenly come to life and superman across the room. Gauntlets are thrown and words are said that can't be taken back. The life of the relationship is slowly sucked out and all that is left are two people that are merely coping with the other. There is no love, no respect, no understanding and barely a friendship. Both parties are aware of this, but most of the time its the woman that says something to the man. (I use the term "man" very loosely.) I think the reasoning behind that is they know if they break it off before we do we are going to cry and accuse them of cheating. ( don't deny it you know that's the first thing we do.) If we break it off first, its almost like a get out of jail free card. Usually after the the-relationship-is-over talk one party decides that they are going to move out depending on whose house/apartment it was when the other moved in. Most of the time the boy will move out to some bachelor pad with his buddies skipping down the street with his belongings in a bag over his shoulder. Sometimes the girl will move out, but usually only if she knows one of two things: 1) that if she moves out her ex won't be able to afford the rent even if he does get a roommate. 2) they ended up living with his family in some way and she really has no choice. (it can happen, it happened to me.) On a good note the girl usually ends up with the place that they both shared. ( boys don't want that responsibility.) Sometimes they remain friends afterwards sometimes they don't but in the end everyone is unbelievably happy. Then there is the other type of guy....the one that won't follow the rules of the break-up and just go away.
There are a few men (once again I use the term "man" loosely) that even though they know the relationship is over, the break-up fight has been fought, and the gauntlets are thrown, leaving is not a priority. They always find some excuse to stay, whether it be that they have no place to go, they can't afford to move out on their own or they won't go because they put just as much money into the house/apartment or other possessions that the woman has and they want re numeration of some kind before they go. They will come up with any excuse so that they can stay in the comfy security that was built around them. (this is also why a lot of men still live at home well into their thirties.) They got so used to you cleaning up after them and doing other things for them that they will come up with any excuse that they can not to give that up. You could literally cheat "on" them and they would find some excuse to forgive you so that they can stay. Now by all means, if you guys think you can still make things work, stay together and work things out. But, if the "break-up" fighting has ensued then its best to go your separate ways. When he doesn't there are a few things you can do: 1) pack his stuff and set it (or throw in a giant messy pile) outside of the place you guys share. If it's an apartment, balconies are great for dumping personal items off of. 2) Plan and execute a move to a different place and don't tell him. (just don't answer the phone when he calls wondering where you are or the jig is up). If neither one of these suggestions work, if you got in good with his family sometimes you can talk them into talking to him. Sometimes they will just come grab his stuff and let him know to go to them instead of coming home to you. You also always have the choice of leaving but that once again factors on the living situation and whose name the home is under. Sometimes you can talk some sense into them, but its not likely. Whatever you do though ladies, don't fall for the sweet talk that is headed your way. It will only prolong the inevitable and make things messier than they probably already are.
And so, there you have it. No exactly foolproof, but it might work better than letting him stick around making your life miserable. Now I will put this out to my readers, if you have been in this situation and you have another way to handle it, please leave a comment on this blog and share your knowledge with the rest of woman-kind!!! Until then my faithful readers........
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