promise ring(n)-1. a ring given prior to an engagement ring. 2. another name for an engagement ring. 3. a piece of jewelry given to a woman by a man as a last ditch attempt to keep her around because he knows that she's unhappy and wants out of the relationship.
That's right my loyal readers, we are delving into the meaning behind that small, sparkly known as the promise ring. I want to warn you that I will probably offend some of you with my opinions so I'm going to say to you now, read at your own risk. ( honestly the only reason you're going to be offended is because what I'm going to be talking about is the exact situation you're in and you just haven't come to terms with it yet.)
The promise ring.....in most relationships this token of affection is given when the two people (or three if that's your preference) care deeply for one another but may not be ready to take the plunge of an engagement or marriage. The relationship may still be new, they may not be able to afford an engagement ring or they are too young to even consider thinking about marriage. The only thing that the couple does know is that they love each other, they want to make an effort to go the long haul and they want something to symbolize their promise to the other that they are in this forever. They (in a lot of cases just he) then decide to make a surprise visit to a jewelry store where there are several choices to decide upon. Most promise rings range in price from around $100 on up. Some are less some are more. Now if you have to put a spleen on deposit or re-mortgage your house for a promise ring then that wold be considered an ENGAGEMENT ring and then you're just on your way to wedding planners and marriage ceremonies. My personal opinion a promise ring shouldn't cost more than $300 to $400. Spend any more than that and you might as well just take the plunge and get married. All a promise ring should be is a gold, white gold or silver band with a small diamond or two.(or whatever gem stone your significant other prefers. Get creative) It should be what it is, a promise for the forever commitment of marriage. (Let's not forget the opportunity to get a bigger and better ring.) If the couple so chooses they can both have a promise ring but the honor is usually reserved for the girls. I know you boys out there are feeling a little left out but I can almost guarantee if your intentions are true and you buy your girlfriend a promise ring for all the right reasons, you are pretty much guaranteed access to some booty......( We all know that is what's mainly on your mind in the long run, don't deny it.) In the end everyone is happy and no longer in need of some sexual healing. ( thank you Marvin Gay for that term!!)
Now we get to that other reason the promise ring is bought. Its not a pleasant one and I myself have been a victim of the tactic. The boy in the relationship begins to realise that his girlfriend isn't happy with him any longer. The two are arguing all the time, they are spending more time apart than they are together, they both feel like they are headed in different directions and there is constant nit picking. They still have feelings for each other but they can't see themselves being with one another for the rest of their lives. So in a last ditch attempt to try and keep their girl around, the boy will purchase a promise ring and present it to his girlfriend in the most romantic way possible. He does this so that there is minimal chance of failure of the ring being accepted. Along with this presentation he makes promises that he will change his ways and that things between the two of you will get better. The bad part of all of this is, we accept it and delude ourselves into believing these false promises. Things are good for a couple of weeks or even a couple of months but then go right back to where they were and we feel like we have to stick around because we accepted this token of false promises. We are feeling like we are stuck in an unhappy relationship or, if it even went this far, marriage. ( it did for me....) Word to the wise ladies, unless you can see yourself with this man for the rest of your life and you are happy with the way the relationship is going, don't accept the promise ring. Don't make yourself feel trapped when you are truly unhappy with the situation. It's OK to say no. I don't even care if you ended up having a child with this person, if you guys can't get along together then it might be better if you weren't. Your children will be all the better for it. Don't let yourselves get trapped in a loveless marriage because neither one of you had the balls to tell the other that it's over. The big thing about a good relationship is communicating and not holding back. ( haven't I mentioned this like 1000 times?) A lot of are probably saying something along the lines of "promise ring isn't engagement ring, because I accept doesn't mean we have to get married" and to that you are absolutely right. But, why would you accept something that would eventually lead to marriage if you weren't thinking about marrying this person??
So with ALL of that said I will end this with a few more words of wisdom, think before you act. Your actions could come up and bite you in the ass in the long run. (or in my case give me an EX husband....) Seriously consider all of your options if you aren't happy with the course your life has taken. And for all of those of you that are in a good healthy relationship, I wish you nothing but the best and hope for you that your life turns into what ever you dreamed of it to be. Until next week...stay thirsty my friends...(10 points for whomever can tell me where that line comes from.)
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