Friday, December 2, 2011

Arnold did it...why can't you?

     I was at work the other day and I got into a conversation about my decision to have my son be an only child with one of my co-workers.  He tried to make the point that every man seems to make when they ask this question, "Being pregnant isn't really that bad, is it?"  This is when I realised that most guys think that women have it so easy and they really don't realise the annoyances that we have to deal with on a regular basis.  They think that being a woman is so simple because most, not all, but most of us don't do the manual labor jobs and lift heavy, weighty items everyday.  They are naive to the hard work it takes to be a woman and the even harder job it is if you are a stay at home mom.  They have a great misunderstanding that our lives as women are a breeze......I'm here to hopefully correct that thinking.  So ladies, if you have a husband, boyfriend, brother or even just a guy friend that has conveyed any of the above thoughts to you gather 'em up and have them read this and maybe we can straighten them out once and for all!!! YAY!!!!!!
     Okay boys, this one is for you to read and learn.  This is not going to be like that Family Guy episode where the lady in the video asks all the women to leave the room and then she gets naked. Not gonna happen....but you're probably going to read this anyway because I gaurantee your girl is watching over your shoulder and giving you a dirty look hoping that you might actually learn something.  First of all, I have heard alot of men tell their significant other that PMS and having our unfortunate monthly period can't be that bad.  They have all said that we whine too much about it and to suck it up and deal with it.  To that I have to say, I dare all of you doubting men to try it.  Just for a couple of days.  I dare all of you to bleed for five days straight, have to deal with mind numbing cramps, raging hormones and having to spend $20 to $30 a month on feminine products.  Its not as easy as it sounds.  You don't feel like yourself and all you want to do is curl up under a blanket and cuddle up until it's all over. (I promise you guys that I don't think you would last more than a day)  The bad thing is that we can't, we still have to go to work, clean the house, take care of the kids and all the other random chores that we take care of everyday.  Now I know that you boys are still thinking, "Yeah, that still doesn't sound that horrible."  And honestly you guys will truely never know but I can give you a pretty good comparasion.  Imagine the worst stomach cramps that you have ever had paired with being in the worst mood you have ever been in.  Multiply that by 10 and you might have the slightest clue what we have to go through every month. Now if that doesn't sound bad enough, we also have to put up with you boys telling us that we need to stop whining about our periods and just suck it up and deal with it.  Just to let you know, that doesn't help our mood or the situation.  I'm not asking you guys to walk on egg shells once a month all I'm asking is if you realise that one week out of the month we are over sensitive and uncomfortable and that week is usually the one that you feel like being a bigger jerk than usual. All we want is a little understanding and maybe a little extra cuddling. (Maybe if you're really nice, sex may not be an option but the oral pleasure for you guys might be...eh...eh..something to think about huh?)  So next time your girlfriend or wife is having that special time of the month a little kindness and compassion can go a long way.
     Now the other misconception, pregnancy being easy.  WRONG!!!  I'm not going to lie....being pregnant is a beautiful thing and you don't really realise the miracle unless you have experienced it.  Being as I have, I can say, it was amazing.  I won't do it again but it is a beautiful experience.  Its also not as easy as it looks.  Now I know that if you have kept reading this your girlfriend/wife has either made you or you actually found this blog interesting. ( I'm betting on the first reason)  You guys really don't understand what our bodies go through to bear your children, so I am going to make it my responsibility to tell you.  Pregnancy isn't all teddy bears and bows, our bodies get morphed at a rapid rate leaving us uncomfortable and covered in stretch marks.  The first three or four months we are taken over everyday by constant nausea and sometimes vomiting, no energy and feeling just plain yucky.  The next three months we start feeling better but this is also when we start showing, the body morphing begins.  The last few months we spend with swollen feet, hands, cravings for wierd foods, and we have a human being living in our swollen abdoman that is ever moving and trying to get out.  Then comes labor and delivery.  I'm not going to get into the nitty, gritty details but I can give you and idea of whats its like.  I have heard that the only thing that can be compared to labor pain is a kidney stone.  Take that pain constant for any where from 5 to 36 plus hours and then try shoving something the size of a watermelon out of a hole the size of a lemon.  There you have it, childbirth the way men can understand.  Now to all of you husbands and boyfriends out there with children, I will give you the benefit of the doubt that you have some idea of what its like for us to give birth.  I can only assume that you were there for the birth of your child and have seen labor and delivery first hand. (I only know this because it doesn't matter how much we might hate you, we always want you there for this event.)  For those of you who haven't had this experience I only ask this, be compassionate towards your girlfriend/wife.  All it takes is being nice, helping out a little more, holding her hand and being there for her.  Thats really all we want, compassion, love and for you to be there for us with a couple of encouraging words.  If you do this for us I promise we will make more of an effort to hold the crazy hormones under control and make the experience of pregancy more enjoyable for the masses.  For those choice few men that have read this and still say that we are just whining I want you to strap about 30 or 40 pounds to the front of your body and walk around for a full 24 hours.  After you have done that let's see how you feel.....I promise it wont feel good.  Now imagine doing this everyday for roughly 10 months. (Yes 10 months....4 weeks in a month, prego for 40 weeks.....you do the math.) 
     I'm not going say that pregnancy doesn't have its good moments, it does, nothing compares to feeling your baby move for the first time.  But after about month 7, its to the point that if the baby moves the wrong way, mom is getting kicked in the ribs.  Let's not forget to mention the hourly trips to the bathroom because the baby has decided to settle themselves on moms bladder.  Some women are made for pregnancy and love being pregnant.  More power to you ladies that can do it more than once, you are a stronger woman than I. The rest are like me who did it once and ended up with a beautiful child that they love more than life itself but have no plans to ever do it again.  It wasn't hard on me but it was on my body.  I love my son but my world is just perfect with just one.
    So there you go ladies, a blog for the men in your life to read so that they may gain a little more insight to the life and times of the beautiful woman in their lives.  Let's hope they have learned something.

No comments:

Post a Comment