Marriage.....A big word for some and lately just something to do when you get bored. This is what my first subject of this blog is going to be about. I figured I would start out tame and once I get a decent following I would get a little more....well you know...that's when we're gonna get down and dirty.
I have come to not so recently realise that most people think that getting married is going to be all champagne and bubbles( yes I am aiming that comment at a certain Kardashian) or that it's just what you do when you have been in a relationship for a few years. First of all, not to burst the happiness bubble that everyone may or may not be in, but no marriage is perfect. It's hard work and definately not easy, but my opinion is if you are willing to try and make it work, put the effort into it then you, as a couple will be okay. Dont' get discouraged if while you were just dating your significant other, you guys didn't ever fight and now that you are married there's bickering, arguing and some days it feels like World War III. I have found out this is what happens when you love that person but you have all the other stress factors of life weighing on your sholders. Mortgages, kids, bills, in-laws, and work can all put a stress on a marriage but its those that are willing to work through it will make it for the long haul. Some days it is World War III...(believe me, it has been at my house) and other days your relationship would make even the most die hard of Twilight lovers tell you to get a room. Now, I'm going to give you the secret to a good marriage.....(dramatic pause for amazement) oooooohhh ahhhhhh....Communication. Yay!!! No that you all have it, use it. Talking to your partner is the key. Tell them how you feel, don't keep secrets and don't hold anything back. Noew I know that you're thinking "But what if what I say hurts them or what if I don't want to hear wht they have to say?" My answer to that is; Yes some of what you say may hurt and some of what is said to you may hurt but in the long run it makes for a better understanding of the person you decided to spend the rest of your life with.
The second secret, which shouldn't really be a secret at all, is wait to get married. I believe that you should spend at least a year LIVING together before you get married. Not just a year together, but a year living together. (I'm once again going to warn you all that these are my personal opinions and not something that is scientifically proven. Just things that I have found out with my own experiences and others agree with me on.) You don't ever really get to know a person until you lived with them for a while. I don't care if your partner is a neat freak now, once you get married you get to see what happens behind the scenes when you weren't around before. The reason their place is so clean everytime they have you come over is because they have shoved everything in a closet or cupboard. Trust me. Once you marry them you get to really see the disaster that they are used to living in. Clothes all over, dirty dishes....etc...Before you crinkle your nose at the thought remember that they will get to see all of your bad habits too. Yes you have them because you do the same thing that they do when you come over for a visit. (Or booty call, whatever your preference.) Throw it all in a closet and hope the door closes. Living with eachother before you get married (and yes I know it goes against most religious beliefs but thats a rule that needs to be thrown out.) gives you the time to either learn to comprimise with the other persons habits and if you don't want to do that then you can say you gave it the old college try but it just didn't work. It may be a harsh reality to call off a relationship because of habits but if you can't somehow find a way to comprimise and incorporate those habits into your life when you aren't married you sure as hell won't be able to do it when you do get married. Small little annoyances can make or break a marriage. It's all how you, as a couple, handle the situation.
Now, another peice of advice before this already lengthy blog ends......if you are in a good relationship and are happy with the person you are with, don't just run out and get married because you think you have to. Nothing says that marriage is a must. Most will just say that getting married is a piece of paper, it's funny how that piece of paper can change everything. The basic motto "if its ain't broke, don't fix it" is a great one to follow if you're already happy with things they way they are and don't want to change them. In closing, your relationship is what you make of it, I just hope I was able to give a little insight to help make it a little better.
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