I was sitting at work with my friend Stephanie and One Time by Justin Beiber came on my ipod that we were listening to. Yes, I can hear all the dreaded gasps and comments of "OMG you have Justin Beiber on your iPod!!!!" Yes I do. Just that one song. Why do I have just that one song? I think its cute. it was done before his voice changed so he still has that cute teenager voice and the song is about teenage love. While listening to the song I looked at Stephanie and I told her my realization: Love is never truer than it is when you are 15 years old. Don't get me wrong love is very true when you are older as well but its not the same kind of love.
When you are 15, if you're anything like me, it's usually the age you start seriously dating and that first real boyfriend comes into the picture. (Some of you may have started out sooner but I didn't....late bloomer I guess) With that first boyfriend comes all the things that go with a first love. The constant butterflies, the hourly, lengthy phone conversations, the dread of being away from that other person for more than a few minutes and the snuggling. In my case, that first real kiss came into the picture. (like I said, late bloomer) Nothing else in the world matters but you and that other person. No complications of cheating, sex, or any other obstacle that you have to defend yourself against when you are in a more mature relationship. Everything is all bubblegum and rainbows. You make each other cards on valentines day and your boyfriend doesn't mind getting a cute little teddy bear that says I love you on it. Sitting with each other on the couch holding hands and cuddling is all you need to keep you safe and happy. During the school day you pass notes to each other in the hallways proclaiming how much you love that other person and how you would just simply die with out them. The kisses are sweeter, softer and mean so much more than any thing you have ever felt. They leave you feeling giddy and wanting more. The love between you two is pure and uncomplicated. Its sometimes the only time in your life that you can truly be with someone and not be anyone but who you are. That other person loves you for you and no other reason. Then the hormones of the lovesick teenager kick in.....and this is where EVERYTHING get screwed up.
Nothing ruins a wonderful first love better than sex. At 15 or 16 we have all these racing hormones and desires and don't have a clue what the hell to do them. This is where we get the bright idea or ruining a good thing with sex. 90% of the time its the boy that mentions it. They then leave it up to the girl if they are going to have sex or not. Some guys pressure and others are very calm about it. What we don't realize at this age is that sex is wonderful and horrible all at the same time. It's wonderful because it makes you feel good and brings you closer to that other person. If you are truly in love it will bring you closer and make you fall even harder for that person. The bad side to it is that it complicates things by making the little things like holding hands and making out not mean as much as it used to. Before you has sex those things were enough to calm the desires for that other person, now it doesn't work as well as it used to and sex is the only way to quench this desire. This leaves a lot of young couples thinking that the only reason they are together is because of the sex because they forget the real reason they fell in love in the first place. The fighting begins and the cute teenage relationship turns into World War III. Break-ups ensue and you sometimes never talk to that person again.
As you grow up, you find someone that brings the butterflies again. Even though they aren't the same butterflies that you got at 15, they are still the ones that tell you that you like and could love this person you've met. Through out your courtship, the hand holding, making out, and cuddling happen but the way all of these made you feel at 15 is lost and the more mature desire kicks in. The love making happens and the falling in love begins. The butterflies disappear but a stronger feeling of love and attachment kicks in and even though its not the same love as it was when you were 15 its just as strong. Eventually you will get married and maybe have a family. The relationship between you and your husband is strong and you could never imagine yourself with another man, but one day while you are just sitting alone or cleaning up your first love will pop into your head and you will reminisce about the days when things were simple and just a kiss would give you butterflies.
So in closing all I have to say is this......Even though you are perfectly happy with your marriage or relationship that you are in its OK to remember a simpler time when kisses meant more and a hand holding yours would give you those happy butterflies.....until next time.......
