The name of the title of this blog may be a little silly for the topic, but hey why can't we have some silly in our lives? I named it super fight because I'm going to get in to the differences between fighting as a dating couple and as a married couple. To those of you that read this regularly that aren't married: Yes there is a difference between the fights. Married fighting is waaaayyyy more interesting.
When you are in a long term relationship with someone there are bound to be fights. You have two people that iregardless how similar they are they still have alot of differences and when you get both parties in the same room on a bad day an argument will form. Angry words will be said, insults thrown, (along with maybe an inanimate object)and majority of the time the couple loses steam and forgets what they are arguing about. In that event they make up until the next argument where all of a sudden the topic of the previous fight rears its ugly head. The funny part about this is that originally the man (once again the term used loosly) will forget he topic of the fight which instigates the making up but when the new fight starts even weeks later he is the first one to bring up what the first fight was about. The answer to why this happens still baffels women all over the world. Men will forget birthdays, anniversarys, and other mundane activities but they will remember why you two argued about 6 months ago. This is besides the point and maybe a topic for another day, today we are going to get into married fighting and why its more fun than fighting when you're not married.
Couples that have been together for a couple of years but are unmarried fight just as much as everyone else. Arguing in a relationship is healthy as long as it doesn't get violent. They fight about work, paying bills, and other stupid little things that don't involve anything more intense than "he forgot to give me money for rent, therefore I hate him." I'm not saying that couple in a relationship doesn't really get into good fights but the topics start getting a little thin and neither party wants to bring anyhting real serious into the fight because the possibility of a break-up is always there. They usually keep the fights to being angry because the house is messy, not having enough money from the other individual to help pay the bills or boyfriend/girlfriend being out too late with their friends while the other stays home. The days long drag out fights where the couple spends a couple of days not speaking to the other is usually a good signal of the relationship coming to an end. A lot of couples end their years long courtships over one supermassive fight. Both parties take their things and go their seperate ways. Short, sweet, simple, done. Just like pulling off a band-aid. Married couples, its a completely different world.
When married people fight they fight over all the same stupid things that every other couple fights over but there are joint bank accounts and families involved. When you're married the fights usually don't result in any form of break-up unless there are adulterers present or there is violence. The days long drag out fights are marathons frought with mumbled insults, snide comments and other creative ways of torturing the other person with out actually looking at them or talking to them in any way. Sometimes us married folk even result to practical jokes to make the other person look as ridiculous as possible in front of other people with out those people even knowing that the married couple is arguing. Married people also have the ability to drag the other persons family into the argument. One of my favorite quotes by Jeff Foxworthy when he talked about this same topic was "well I guess we'll just live like your fat alcoholic mother then..." And oddly enough comments like that are not far from the truth. When married people run out of insults for the other person we immediatly turn on the others family. It doesn't matter if we love our in-laws they are usually the first ones on the chopping block and we work our way through the list of family members. We think of as many ridiculous insults that we can to not even prove a point but try to make our partner as angry as possible. Secretly I think we like to get a good heated argument going because when the apologies are handed out and we make up the make up sex is amazing. Most of us forget our inhabitions in the heat of the moment and will do some pretty crazy things that we will never admit to later on. So as you can see good things do happen because of fighting.
So in closing, as long as the fighting is productive its a good thing. (especially if there is make up sex involved!!!) And if you're married and you guys have already dragged the whole faily in then get creative. Come up with as many ridiculous insults that you can you guys might end up laughing instead of fighting!!! Until next week........
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Have No Fear Super Mom Is Here!!!!!!!!!
To all of my regular readers, I am going to go a little off subject here, (normally I write about sex and relationships)this time its more about relationships. How many of you women out there are married? How many are married with children? How many of you married with children don't get a day off even if you are so sick that you can't move? I'm willing to bet the answer to the last question is going to be all of you. If this article offends any of the hardworking men in our lives, I don't mean to, I have just come to realize that a lot is expected out of women especially when we have kids.
The whole idea of this started when my co-worker and I were sitting at work one day when we both got called in early because everyone else was sick. (The person I am referring to was actually really sick and none of this applies to that individual we just came up with these ideas because of the situation.) Now, I know that calling in or going home and calling someone in to cover you when you are sick is proper work etiquette, I don't deny that that is the right thing to do so that everyone else and their family doesn't get sick from one person. What I have noticed it that most of the time its the men calling in when they have a sore throat or a cold, but when women are sick we only call in to work when we are almost literally on our death beds. A sniffle to us is like a butterfly disturbing an elephant, only mildly annoying. A sniffle to a man usually signals the end of the world. A full blown cold is like Armageddon. We sat and thought at work that day why that is and have come to realize that women have to be tough. We were created to have the ability to go through nine (or ten) months carrying a human in our bodies and then giving that human life in the birthing process. We were imbued with the curse of having a monthly menstrual cycle to where on average we bleed for five days and just have to put up with it. Let's not forget the mind numbing cramps that go along with the ever constant discomfort of having a period. We clean, take care of the children, work, and try to maintain a happy healthy household. We don't do it because we have to we do it because we want to. Men could never deal with half of the things that women go through. Our monthly cycle alone would put a man in a crumpled lump on the floor whining and that would only be the first day. Women, we pop a midol or other over the counter medication to help ease the pain and discomfort and go on about our day with minimal amount of complaining. We were built to be tough and withstand most anything. We don't let much get in our way. Even on our day off, we don't get the day off. I don't know about you but my days off of work consist of cleaning, organizing and taking care of my almost two year old little guy. Its not because I have to do it but because I want to. My husband helps and is more than happy to help, but as I am sure most of you know we all have our ways of cleaning and doing things and sometimes those boys of ours just don't do it the way we want it done. Its the same with taking care of the little ones. Our husbands/boyfriends help with the rearing of the children but as every woman knows until our kids reach the age of 3 or 4 the only person they want to be with is mommy. So on top of housework we also have a tiny human hanging on our every action.
I don't want this to sound like I am doing any kind of man bashing because I'm not. I love my husband and in the 8 years we have been together he has made me a stronger and wiser person. He understands me and everything about me, but he also says repeatedly that women are crazy. I tell him that if men had to deal with all the responsibilities of a woman that they would probably be crazy too and with a moment of thought he usually nods his head in agreement. So I am going to end this shorter entry with this: Boys, next time you think that your wife/girlfriend is going bat shit crazy over nothing, think about what she has to go through every day. Be thankful that the woman in your life is there to help you, be there for you, and love her the way she deserves to be loved. Until next time..........
The whole idea of this started when my co-worker and I were sitting at work one day when we both got called in early because everyone else was sick. (The person I am referring to was actually really sick and none of this applies to that individual we just came up with these ideas because of the situation.) Now, I know that calling in or going home and calling someone in to cover you when you are sick is proper work etiquette, I don't deny that that is the right thing to do so that everyone else and their family doesn't get sick from one person. What I have noticed it that most of the time its the men calling in when they have a sore throat or a cold, but when women are sick we only call in to work when we are almost literally on our death beds. A sniffle to us is like a butterfly disturbing an elephant, only mildly annoying. A sniffle to a man usually signals the end of the world. A full blown cold is like Armageddon. We sat and thought at work that day why that is and have come to realize that women have to be tough. We were created to have the ability to go through nine (or ten) months carrying a human in our bodies and then giving that human life in the birthing process. We were imbued with the curse of having a monthly menstrual cycle to where on average we bleed for five days and just have to put up with it. Let's not forget the mind numbing cramps that go along with the ever constant discomfort of having a period. We clean, take care of the children, work, and try to maintain a happy healthy household. We don't do it because we have to we do it because we want to. Men could never deal with half of the things that women go through. Our monthly cycle alone would put a man in a crumpled lump on the floor whining and that would only be the first day. Women, we pop a midol or other over the counter medication to help ease the pain and discomfort and go on about our day with minimal amount of complaining. We were built to be tough and withstand most anything. We don't let much get in our way. Even on our day off, we don't get the day off. I don't know about you but my days off of work consist of cleaning, organizing and taking care of my almost two year old little guy. Its not because I have to do it but because I want to. My husband helps and is more than happy to help, but as I am sure most of you know we all have our ways of cleaning and doing things and sometimes those boys of ours just don't do it the way we want it done. Its the same with taking care of the little ones. Our husbands/boyfriends help with the rearing of the children but as every woman knows until our kids reach the age of 3 or 4 the only person they want to be with is mommy. So on top of housework we also have a tiny human hanging on our every action.
I don't want this to sound like I am doing any kind of man bashing because I'm not. I love my husband and in the 8 years we have been together he has made me a stronger and wiser person. He understands me and everything about me, but he also says repeatedly that women are crazy. I tell him that if men had to deal with all the responsibilities of a woman that they would probably be crazy too and with a moment of thought he usually nods his head in agreement. So I am going to end this shorter entry with this: Boys, next time you think that your wife/girlfriend is going bat shit crazy over nothing, think about what she has to go through every day. Be thankful that the woman in your life is there to help you, be there for you, and love her the way she deserves to be loved. Until next time..........
Monday, January 9, 2012
The Pornstar Girlfriend
Most of you right now are probably reading that title and thinking,"WHAT?" I warned you all in the beginning that the entries were going to get a little racy and I fully plan to hold up to that promise. Fist of all, don't take the title lliterally. Your husband/boyfriend does not have some girl stashed off to the side. (If he does then you have my full permission to kick his ass.) This is all about the one thing that every guy does and none of the women will admit that they know about, masturbation and porn. Now, I don't want to imply that women never do, we all do whether we want to admit it or not, but I am going to put out there that men do it waaaaaayyyyyyyy more than women do. (Unless you're like Samantha from Sex in the City....) If you can just get your head around the fact that it happens then all will be okay.
I'm going to start off by saying that masturbation is a perfectly normal and healthy thing and at some point and time in every one's lives we have all done it at least once. If you say you never have then, you are either lying or you are just too weirded out by the idea and have been to scared to try. I'm putting money on the lie part. You also shouldn't be embarrassed by it. Its a wonderful thing, a good stress reliever, help you fall asleep when you can't sleep, or if you're having a bad day it can make it A LOT better. I also believe that men pretty much hold the monopoly on this action. Most women can do it and then not do it again for weeks or even months, with men, its an almost everyday event. The funny part is depending on the relationship they have with their wife/girlfriend they will totally deny doing it as much as they do until they get caught. I will also guarantee that at some point they will get caught by you, to which some of them will still deny it. If you catch your man, don't get angry. They will probably be embarrassed enough that they really don't need the extra humiliation of a fight over it. They don't love you any less and they don't find you any less attractive its just what guys do.
The next thing I'm going to mention is usually where the fight starts about masturbation. Porn. Every man has a collection of porn. EVERY MAN. Even if they say they don't they do and they have just hidden it so well that you will never find it or stashed it at a friends house so you won't see it. Just keep in mind that it exists. I can imagine right now I have a bunch of women reading this shaking their heads thinking that their man doesn't have one. Trust me they do. When women masturbate they can usually use their imagination to get them to the finish line, men, they need the visual stimulation to get them to that same place. Its not necessarily that they are attracted to the women on the computer or TV screen, but the change of scenery and the action on the screen. Seriously ladies, let's face it, most of us are soooo not willing to do half of the things that happen in the adult flicks that our significant others are watching. (you know its the truth, have you ever watched one of those?) Some women find a great offense to this collection and once they get married they make their new hubby's get rid of their porn star girlfriends with the thought that they should be enough. They are fine to think that but with men porn doesn't translate into "my wife isn't good enough therefore I have to watch naked chicks get it on on DVD "its more of just "oohhh look boobs I haven't seen before". They don't love you any less. Men are instinctive creatures that have the need and desire to stick their penis into just about anything they can. Watching and masturbating to porn quenches this instinctive thirst that they have to run out and bone anything and everyone. If that gets taken away from them unwillingly then they have more of a tendency to find another way to quench that thirst. (we all know what that means right?) So next time you find that porn stash or catch your husband/boyfriend in the act, either let it go or just make it known that he needs to find a better time and place. (if it makes you uncomfortable. out of sight out of mind.) If you find it one of the most sexiest encounters you have ever come across then be sure to let him know. Open and honest is always the best policy.
So when you wake up at three in the morning and your significant other is mysteriously missing and you can see the glow of the TV from the other room....give the man some privacy and let him do his thing. It will make him happier, it will make the relationship happier and always know that he still loves you as much as he did before you found out about all of this and if you are understanding about it he will love you more for it. So long as you are still getting good lovin's on a regular basis and masturbation hasn't taken over your sex life, let it go and enjoy the man for who he is......until next week........
I'm going to start off by saying that masturbation is a perfectly normal and healthy thing and at some point and time in every one's lives we have all done it at least once. If you say you never have then, you are either lying or you are just too weirded out by the idea and have been to scared to try. I'm putting money on the lie part. You also shouldn't be embarrassed by it. Its a wonderful thing, a good stress reliever, help you fall asleep when you can't sleep, or if you're having a bad day it can make it A LOT better. I also believe that men pretty much hold the monopoly on this action. Most women can do it and then not do it again for weeks or even months, with men, its an almost everyday event. The funny part is depending on the relationship they have with their wife/girlfriend they will totally deny doing it as much as they do until they get caught. I will also guarantee that at some point they will get caught by you, to which some of them will still deny it. If you catch your man, don't get angry. They will probably be embarrassed enough that they really don't need the extra humiliation of a fight over it. They don't love you any less and they don't find you any less attractive its just what guys do.
The next thing I'm going to mention is usually where the fight starts about masturbation. Porn. Every man has a collection of porn. EVERY MAN. Even if they say they don't they do and they have just hidden it so well that you will never find it or stashed it at a friends house so you won't see it. Just keep in mind that it exists. I can imagine right now I have a bunch of women reading this shaking their heads thinking that their man doesn't have one. Trust me they do. When women masturbate they can usually use their imagination to get them to the finish line, men, they need the visual stimulation to get them to that same place. Its not necessarily that they are attracted to the women on the computer or TV screen, but the change of scenery and the action on the screen. Seriously ladies, let's face it, most of us are soooo not willing to do half of the things that happen in the adult flicks that our significant others are watching. (you know its the truth, have you ever watched one of those?) Some women find a great offense to this collection and once they get married they make their new hubby's get rid of their porn star girlfriends with the thought that they should be enough. They are fine to think that but with men porn doesn't translate into "my wife isn't good enough therefore I have to watch naked chicks get it on on DVD "its more of just "oohhh look boobs I haven't seen before". They don't love you any less. Men are instinctive creatures that have the need and desire to stick their penis into just about anything they can. Watching and masturbating to porn quenches this instinctive thirst that they have to run out and bone anything and everyone. If that gets taken away from them unwillingly then they have more of a tendency to find another way to quench that thirst. (we all know what that means right?) So next time you find that porn stash or catch your husband/boyfriend in the act, either let it go or just make it known that he needs to find a better time and place. (if it makes you uncomfortable. out of sight out of mind.) If you find it one of the most sexiest encounters you have ever come across then be sure to let him know. Open and honest is always the best policy.
So when you wake up at three in the morning and your significant other is mysteriously missing and you can see the glow of the TV from the other room....give the man some privacy and let him do his thing. It will make him happier, it will make the relationship happier and always know that he still loves you as much as he did before you found out about all of this and if you are understanding about it he will love you more for it. So long as you are still getting good lovin's on a regular basis and masturbation hasn't taken over your sex life, let it go and enjoy the man for who he is......until next week........
Thursday, January 5, 2012
To Three or Not To Three?......The Ultimate question.
Most of us, as women, have heard this question more than once in just about every relationship we have had and have politely patted our silly significant other on the head kissed his nose and brushed it off. What I want to know is have any of you out there ever really seriously sat down and talked about it?? Have you ever sat down with your boy and talked about the possibilities of entering a third into your sex life? ( I warned you guys in the first entry of this blog that the topics would get racy.) I have and even though I haven't gone through with it, (nor do I think I ever will.) there are A LOT of things to take into account and to really consider.
OK, so I know that most, if not all, of the time its usually our boys that come up with the idea of a threesome. Most of the time they are joking around and only mention it so get a rise out of us because they know that its a kind of taboo subject. Then there are those select few that are totally serious. They have fantasized about it enough to know that its something that they want to try and they will keep dropping hints towards it. It's also something that can be easily pushed to the back burner and discussed at a later date if you both choose to do so. I have realized that its usually guys that do the threesome fantasizing and its usually the girls that push it to the back burner. If you do decide to have a serious discussion about a threesome whether you are actually going to have one or not, make sure that you are truthful about what you want and how you want it to happen. I don't think there is anything worse than setting expectations under false pretenses and then realizing it wasn't what you wanted. The situation is going to be weird enough as it is try to make it as comfortable as possible by expressing what you really want and not what you think he wants. ( Even if all you ever do is just talk about it.)
The first thing that you definitely going to want to be clear about is who the third will be. The first thing he's gonna do is probably pick the hottest friend you have and drop her name. This will of course get a reaction out of you that will cause him physical harm in some way. (punch in the shoulder, smack in the back of the head....) But then consider it......depending on the relationship between you and the aforementioned individual they may be a candidate. It all really depends on if you want that person to be someone that you know and trust or a complete and total stranger. It also depends on if you plan on the three of you getting together again in the future. My personal opinion, if its going to happen more than once a friend may be a good choice but just keep in mind that this person is your friend and you will be hanging out with them after said event. If its just a one time affair then maybe someone you don't know as well but they are an acquaintance. Don't ever go for a complete stranger because God only know what repercussions may follow that idea. (Seriously you could end up with a complete and total psycho and be ax murdered)
The second thing you are going to want to do after you have decided to bring this fantasy to life is set some ground rules between the three of you. Be very open and honest because as I have already stated there is nothing worse than setting expectations and have them not hold up to what you wanted. If you are married and you are bringing a third into the mix, this is very important. A miscommunication can ruin marriages and friendships. Make sure you express what you want to happen and how you want it to happen so that the only unexpected is that you like it more than you thought you would. (It can happen!!!) Depending on the person the couple decides to "three" with, rules should be set if two of the three are already friends. What those rules happen to be, well, that's up to the the three involved. As long as there is an understanding that there are rules set and they should be followed unless all involved talk about any changes that want to be made.
And the last thing is......enjoy yourself. If you have gotten to the point that all the decisions have been made and the three of you have laid down all the rules, try it out. There is nothing wrong with changing your mind and calling the whole thing off but don't immediately stop everything and get into a cat fight with your best friend because she kissed your boyfriend/husband during the event. Try it out, let your inhibitions go, and see what happens. Who knows you might like it and want to try it again or you won't and you never have to do it again. Sex is a very beautiful thing and sometimes sharing it with more than one other person can be an enlightening experience. You may also find out that its not for you and the only other person you want to share your body with is your boyfriend/husband. There is nothing wrong with that and nothing wrong in exploring your sexuality. Whats good for one person may not be good for another.
So with all that said I will say again that these are my personal opinions and its up to you to listen to them or not. Until next time my readers.....
OK, so I know that most, if not all, of the time its usually our boys that come up with the idea of a threesome. Most of the time they are joking around and only mention it so get a rise out of us because they know that its a kind of taboo subject. Then there are those select few that are totally serious. They have fantasized about it enough to know that its something that they want to try and they will keep dropping hints towards it. It's also something that can be easily pushed to the back burner and discussed at a later date if you both choose to do so. I have realized that its usually guys that do the threesome fantasizing and its usually the girls that push it to the back burner. If you do decide to have a serious discussion about a threesome whether you are actually going to have one or not, make sure that you are truthful about what you want and how you want it to happen. I don't think there is anything worse than setting expectations under false pretenses and then realizing it wasn't what you wanted. The situation is going to be weird enough as it is try to make it as comfortable as possible by expressing what you really want and not what you think he wants. ( Even if all you ever do is just talk about it.)
The first thing that you definitely going to want to be clear about is who the third will be. The first thing he's gonna do is probably pick the hottest friend you have and drop her name. This will of course get a reaction out of you that will cause him physical harm in some way. (punch in the shoulder, smack in the back of the head....) But then consider it......depending on the relationship between you and the aforementioned individual they may be a candidate. It all really depends on if you want that person to be someone that you know and trust or a complete and total stranger. It also depends on if you plan on the three of you getting together again in the future. My personal opinion, if its going to happen more than once a friend may be a good choice but just keep in mind that this person is your friend and you will be hanging out with them after said event. If its just a one time affair then maybe someone you don't know as well but they are an acquaintance. Don't ever go for a complete stranger because God only know what repercussions may follow that idea. (Seriously you could end up with a complete and total psycho and be ax murdered)
The second thing you are going to want to do after you have decided to bring this fantasy to life is set some ground rules between the three of you. Be very open and honest because as I have already stated there is nothing worse than setting expectations and have them not hold up to what you wanted. If you are married and you are bringing a third into the mix, this is very important. A miscommunication can ruin marriages and friendships. Make sure you express what you want to happen and how you want it to happen so that the only unexpected is that you like it more than you thought you would. (It can happen!!!) Depending on the person the couple decides to "three" with, rules should be set if two of the three are already friends. What those rules happen to be, well, that's up to the the three involved. As long as there is an understanding that there are rules set and they should be followed unless all involved talk about any changes that want to be made.
And the last thing is......enjoy yourself. If you have gotten to the point that all the decisions have been made and the three of you have laid down all the rules, try it out. There is nothing wrong with changing your mind and calling the whole thing off but don't immediately stop everything and get into a cat fight with your best friend because she kissed your boyfriend/husband during the event. Try it out, let your inhibitions go, and see what happens. Who knows you might like it and want to try it again or you won't and you never have to do it again. Sex is a very beautiful thing and sometimes sharing it with more than one other person can be an enlightening experience. You may also find out that its not for you and the only other person you want to share your body with is your boyfriend/husband. There is nothing wrong with that and nothing wrong in exploring your sexuality. Whats good for one person may not be good for another.
So with all that said I will say again that these are my personal opinions and its up to you to listen to them or not. Until next time my readers.....
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